Bad day!!!! I had bad day for 2 days. First on Thursday, I came late for Mrs. Diar’s class. So I got back seat, alone. Then I looked at white board, recognized the words. It’s too small for me!!!!!! I can’t see it clearly. And then she (Mrs. Diar) asked me to find another idiom words. I can’t see that words! Gah!!! So, I didn’t got the score :(
And the second day, on Friday. It’s really really make me frustration. I got crazy traffic!! FOR 2 HOURS! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand first class is Mrs. Diar too! D-A-M-N! I decided to not present on her class. Hufh!
My feel is gone like a wind. Hahaha… seriously. It is so fast. I can’t see him again, because maybe he’s out from my college. It almost a week I’m not see him. He told me 3 weeks ago that he really can’t patient with this class. He really give up. Who knows?
And as you know, I don’t have feel to him again. Maybe it just a crush. Gone!! Forever gone~~~~
I think I’m fall in love. Really it happen to me!! Been so loooooooooooooooooooooong time to waiting it happen. And I think he’s not perfect (nobody’s perfect) but he have perfect smile. I’m falling for his smile. And everytime he smile to me, it’s like I got butterflies on my stomach.
Oh god! I want that smile just for me :) JUST FOR ME!!!
But I think over and over again last night. I just won’t this feel going deeper and makes me hurt. I won’t feel broken heart and maybe he didnt’ like me.
And then I tell about this to my 2 best friend. They are say it’s the consequence you fall in love. You must be brave with your heart and it’s naturally. You can’t forever feel the sweet things. It’ll be bittersweet. Just enjoy the process you fall in love to him. Just respect your heart, your feeling. We don’t know what happen in the future. I just pray to my GOD, Allah SWT “Is he the real one for me?”
I will do what they say. I do. And I will do follow my heart. Just enjoy the process I LIKE HIM!
So this is feel. Feeling alone. Just finish some good movie and til looking around then realize that so quite here. Just 5 of us. After my dad with 2 little sister went to Dad’s village. And I already miss her so much. We are so really alone. No boy. No Dad. And I feel so pity to my Mom.
You know, when you feel just your family. Far away from BIG FAMILY. It’s like you lived with small family. Just you, mom, dad, and the sisters. Meanwhile you used to live with grandma too, but now she’s not here anymore. Gone. To the God Side.
I know it’s overacted, but I miss them who left us. Dad, sister, brother, and especially Grandma. You’re really close to my family. Why you gone so fast? T.T I miss you badly.
I felt like other person, have been stay away from we. Just think that my grandma, who connected us with them. God, she’s a good grandma, good person and Super Mom for her children.
And for my Dad, God, save him wherever he is. Keep him healthy, joyfully, and Allah SWT always bless him.
And I feel so small with this situation. And scary too :(
I don’t know where I must start to do. I just feeling, “I wanna go away from you all”. Just like that. Like I wanna ignore them. Won’t talk, won’t say hi, and won’t chat. Just knowing some good news. I-W-O-N-T!
Why I wanna do that? Because they didn’t respect my kindness. Well, am I too overacted? No! Am I too arrogant? BIG NO!
I just wanna they’re having good communication with my family. Having good relationship. I was good at their family. ALMOST HAVING GOOD CONVERSATION WITH THEM! I tried to being nice, welcome and heart-warmed. But what about them? Did they doing what I did? NO!
As you know, they’ll meet my family if I asked and brought them to my family. IF I ASKED AND BROUGHT. If I didn’t, they won’t DO WHAT I DID TO THEIR FAMILY.
We are friends. For LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago. Having 7 years relationship. But but but but! They’re not too close to my family like I do. BUT THEY ARE MY BESTFRIEND!! How can they do like that?
And it’s like what I did it’s just wasted! Idiot! And also I am visited their house, met their parent, a year for many time. But they? *sigh*
And it happened to my ex-boyfriend. Ugh! He’s looser and suck! I was close with his parent, his sister and his friends. But he just close to my friends. SUCKER!
So, that’s why I was looking a guy who very welcome and close too my parent (especially my dad), my sist & bro. And he must very welcome person :)
So! Should I ignore them?? Or just disappear for a week. OR! Do not replay their message.
Well, I’m so disappointed. That’s what I feel now :(
I don’t know where I must start. It’s about my job. Crisis. I went to my office everyday, nothing to do!!! There’s no job I got. Usually I do, everyday was busy. Order for booking flight. But for now, nothing. Just 2 or 3 names :(
And it makes me dizzy. Finally my boss warned me to what-I-am-to-do-to-keep-this-company-going-up.
I just thinking about that ‘thing’. Because I realize that I didn’t feel what I feel since my junior high school. Never been happen to me again. The way you feel like have a heart attack, feeling nervous, dumb (haha I’m sure it just me), and until now I’ve my future is like.
The way he staring at me, like I’m beautiful girl on his eyes. His hands touch me, my hands, my face, my hair, my chin, and everything he touch just make me insane.
When we are together, holding hand and staring each other. No one words can spell out. We just silent. Talking heart to heart. Like we’re connected.
The way he makes me smile, laugh, comfortable, cooking me some delicious food, and caring much. I dream about it. Forever have.
When he speaks, his voice so sexy (lol). When he touch me, holding me everynight, hug me like a little kid by her father, so warm and safety. I imagine.
We always likes everything we are. We have crush everyday. We share anything until nothing we have. We are like the moon and the sun. Helping each other when we getting down.
And I realize, that Allah SWT (my God) have other plans for me. He create someone for me. And I’m praying that he must what I’m dreaming :)
“I’ll always choose you.” Yes that was the word. “Every single lifetime, I’ll choose you. Just as you have always chosen me. Forever.”
It’s 00.39 AM in Indonesia, and I don’t know my eyes wide open haha… Anyway it’s my first period day in this month. Too late for me. And I still gaming, chat on skype, and tweeting. Hahaha too much activity in late night. I can’t sleep because my stomach.
I hate people who thinks that they know more what I am feeling or thinking. But the truth isn’t!! So, what should I do with this, a suck people??